Suicidal
by cottontailx
Summary: After going through series of events, Caroline Forbes decides to take her life. It didn't go too well, she wakes up in a hospital with a psychologists named Niklaus Mikaelson. Will Niklaus be able to help Caroline, will he be able to show her that there are things work living for? P.S. This story can be a bit depressing.


The ocean blue eyes that stare back at me were unrecognizable. Whoever those eyes belong to looks lost and empty. Those eyes know sorrow much too well. After a few minutes of staring into the grimy mirror, I diverted my gaze back to the sink covered with brown stains. _Gross_. My thin bruised hand gently twisted the knob, releasing brownish colored water. While washing my hands, I looked at my wrists and I saw my future, slashed and bloody, too prideful for pills and too scared for a gun. I guess the wrists will have to do. Slowly, I grabbed the razor blade lying on top of the sink then dragged it across my wrist. It wasn't too long before I was on the dirty floor being drained, barely able to open my eyes. _Not that I wanted to._

 _drip drip drip_. Thick red river, light fills the room, too bright. Footsteps, voices, panic. My eyes shut slowly. "Stay with me, the ambulance is coming", I hear. _No! I don't want to live._ "Oh my god, John! There's blood everywhere" _drip drip drip_. "We need to get her out of here!" _drip drip_... darkness.

My eyes struggle to open, I see a man and woman in uniforms hovering over me, Paramedics. My wrists are wrapped tightly. The woman looks at me, squeezes my hand gently. "Try to stay awake", she says. "We need to keep her heart beating, she lost too much blood" _No don't please, I want to die._ I try to cry out, but my lips stay sealed. My eyes shut again, yet I still hear the world around me. _Die already!_

 _I jolt awake. My eyes wide open, but the only thing visible is the darkness. I feel around my surroundings, bed, headboard, pillows, night stand, and lamp. I flick the lamp on, and realization dawns on me, my room. Cautiously, I crawl to the edge of the bed and pocked the floor with my toe to make sure a portal to hell doesn't open. "I am pretty sure I am supposed to be dead. Maybe this is time travel?" I think to myself, slightly excited about the idea of going back in time. I placed both of my feet on the carpeted floor and began to walk around the room, smiling at old pictures of me and high school friends who I don't even know are still alive. My eyes water at the framed photo of my mother and father on their twenty-five year anniversary. I carefully remove the picture from the wall and place it face down on the dresser._

 _"Caroline!" I hear a familiar feminine voice shout. "Get down here before you're late for school!" my eyes widen in realization. It's my mother. This can't be, it's a trick. I begin to panic, my breath kicking up, maybe I am actually dead. I cautiously open the door, and I am welcomed with the same hall I've played in since I was a toddler. I make my way downstairs, and find my mom in the kitchen making pancakes. I freeze, and stare at her, tears running down my cheeks. I stay like that for a few seconds before she notices me._

 _"Honey, what's wrong?" she asks while making her way over to me. I meet her half-way and tightly wrap my arms around her, burying my face in her neck as I sob uncontrollably._

 _She asks again, in an even more concerned voice, "Care, what's wrong?", her gentle hands rub my back. I pray this is heaven._

 _I finally collect myself and pull back to re-memorize her face, a face that has haunted my dreams for weeks. "Nothing, mom, I am just really glad to see you." I tell her, breaking into a massive grin, with tears still smeared on my face._

 _"I am glad to see you too, honey, but I was never gone. I will always be with you", she kisses me forehead before wiping away the tears on my face. "Now you need to eat your breakfast before you're late." She returns back to the kitchen to continue with her cooking._

 _I look down at my clothes and realize it's the same I wore on the day I cut my wrists, but no blood. Maybe this really is heaven. I don't allow myself to think too hard about my circumstances. I made my way to the island and pulled a pancake off the plate._

 _"Where's dad?" I ask her with a mouthful of pancake._

 _"He's at the office, always working." She smiles lovingly at the thought of my father the workaholic. "Hurry and eat, Care" I nod obediently, mouth too stuffed to speak._

 _After a few minutes, I grabbed my book bag from the living room, ran over to my mother, and pulled her into a tight embrace while whispering into her ear, "Drive safely, mum. I love you."_

 _She smiled at me, "I love you too, Caroline." the simple declaration makes heart warm like the sun. As I made my way to the door, I prayed that I return to my mother, healthy and alive._

 _As I step through the door, I am blinded by light, and then darkness introduces itself to me._

I wake to the sight of a man in a white coat staring down at me, I could barely see his face; my vision was blurred. I stare back silently before noticing the needles in my arms, the blue gown, and uncomfortable bed. Hospital. _I am alive._

 _Fuck_

I've never hated breathing so much, each breath feels like I am inhaling poison. _Why can't I stop breathing?_ I glance at the circular brown clock on the wall, _8:12 am_.

I stare at the man standing at the edge of my bed, he had one hand in his pocket and the other held a clipboard that read Mikaelson Psychology Center. If I wasn't so hell bent on death I would have probably asked him out on a date. _That's not me anymore_. He had perfect physique, a full head of thick light colored hair, pink lips, and piercing blue eyes, the only problem is he's here to change my mind.

After twenty minutes, he took a seat on the couch in front of the window, and began sketching on the clip board. _Why isn't he saying anything?_

Twenty minutes turned to thirty, then sixty. I guess he's not leaving anytime soon, but this is a bit awkward. I finally give up and decide to ignore his presence. I turn onto my side, facing away from him and stared at the stitches on my wrists.

"Oh, she's finally awake!" I heard a female voice say, I turn toward the door and find an elderly brunette nurse with a tray of food standing there smiling at me. I stare at her blankly while she made her way inside the room. I sat up as she pulled up the eating tray from the side of the bed, and placed the tray of food on top of it.

"You've been through so much honey; the paramedics thought you wouldn't make it." _I wish I didn't make it._ I continued to give her a blank stare until finally her smile turned to a frown and she began to back out of the room. "Press the button if you need anything," she said to me before turning her gave to the doctor, "Would you like something to eat, sir?", he smiled at the woman kindly while shaking his head no, then returned to his sketching. _I guess he doesn't talk much either._

After the nurse left, the room returned to its usual silence, I picked at the food and contemplated whether I should eat it or not. Eventually I chose the latter.

 _9:00 pm_

The man is still in my room, how long is he planning on staying?

By lunch time, I felt hungry enough to stop being stubborn and actually ate the food given to me by the nurse. It wasn't half bad for hospital food.

He hasn't eaten all day, I _almost_ feel bad. I am sure he'll be gone by the time I wake up. I flip onto my side, switched the lamp off, leaving the moon to be my only source of light. Because he faced away from it, I could no longer see his face, don't know if that's good, but this is getting creepy. I wish he'd close the curtain or maybe just leave.

I slid under the thin bed cover, pulled it up to my face before facing away from the doctor and welcomed sleep with open arms.

"Caroline, wake up."

My eyes flutter open, and my mouth released a loud yawn. I take a few seconds to allow my eyes to adjust, and when they finally do I see my nurse, smiling softly. I almost smile back at her, but catch myself.

I turn my head to the right, and find the same man sitting on the couch. _This is super weird. I can't take it anymore._

"Why're you're you still here?" I pursed my lips and glared at the man. Who does he think he is? "Isn't it against the law or something to be in a hospital patient's room, watching them sleep?"

"Finally, you're ready to speak." were the first words out of his mouth, words that were coated with a British accent. "I am sure you've already figured out that I am a Psychologist, I am here to stop you from trying to kill yourself again, the law makes exceptions for suicidal patients." he said in a smug voice. What kind of doctor is he?

I scoffed, rolling my eyes, "Nurse, may I use the bathroom?" I asked, gesturing to the needles in my arm. "Of course, honey." she gently removed the needles from my arms, before attempting to help me out of bed. "I am okay, I can do it myself." I tell her while planting my feet on the floor. As I try to stand and walk to the bathroom, my legs give up on me and I find myself on the floor.

The doctor quickly came to my aid and pulled me up with his hands gripping my waist. I pushed his hands away before limping to the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

The first place I go is the cabinet, I open it looking for something sharp or pointy which I doubt I'll find. My doubt is reaffirmed, and I am left disappointed. I take a seat on the edge of the tub and thought of other ways to end it.

 _"I'll always be with you."_ my mother's voice echoed in my head. I bury my head in my hands and begin to sob. _"I love you too, Caroline."_ I cried and cried, when I realized I was getting loud, I turned on the water to drown out the sound.

 _Drown!_ The thought left my mind just as quick as it entered when the doctor barged into the bathroom.

"What are you doing? I could have been naked!" I shouted, my face wet with tears that I frantically wiped off. He gave me an apologetic look before saying, "I was afraid you'd try to drown yourself." I rolled my eyes and shook my head. _He's good at his job._

"Well you can go now, I am perfectly fine." I say, but he hears nothing, and casually leaned against the door.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" I stared at him in disbelief; I wish he wasn't so straight forward. He raised a brow and continued to wait for a reply.

"Caroline, I am here to help you. I can't force you to open up, but when you're ready to talk, ask your nurse to give me a call. Remember that there's always something work living for." With that he exited.

I turned off the bath water then slid in the tug with my gown till on, and sat there for hours, _thinking_.

Two days pass.

"Nurse, could you please take me to see the psychologist?" I asked quietly. She smiled at me before nodding her head.

Hello Readers. Your critics would be GREATLY appreciated, don't hold back. I am not too sure about this story, I am testing out the waters and seeing if the audience would like it.


End file.
